Trust yourself

   I love to read. I read something every day. Sometimes I read books, sometimes I read articles. I have certain authors and certain genres that I enjoy more than others but there is a variety of topics that interest me. I think it's important to 'broaden my horizons' about subjects of which I'm not terribly knowledgeable. Considering many perspectives helps me form opinions. However when it comes to opinions, I don't consider anyone else's opinion to be more relevant than my own or my opinion more relevant than another person's.
   My point to this cyclical logic is that if you only use another person's insight as the basis for your opinion, then perhaps you should put down your book or newspaper, or step away from your computer, get out in the world and experience more of life for awhile. It isn't until you see, hear, smell and feel for yourself that you get the truths life has to offer. Once you do that in a way that opens your eyes and your heart to the idea of endless possibility, you will trust yourself. If you trust yourself it becomes unnecessary to be right or to have the last word.

My challenge for you today!

     Okay friends, I have a challenge for you, ........ a "dare". I dare you to do one thing each day for the next week that takes you out of your comfort zone and reconnects you with the person you want to be. I dare you to 'put yourself out there'. Say something or do something that positively affects another person, in spite of the weird looks and snide remarks you might receive.
     I'm not asking you to change the world, but if you do even one thing designed to make another person feel/be better and it takes a little courage on your part, it will have an impact on others, whether you see that impact or not.
     Here's an example of the type of thing I'm thinking about. Imagine you have a 'snob' in your office that clouds the office and makes everyone's job harder. Your coworkers avoid him/her because they don't want to be accused of being like them. You notice he/she has on a stunning new suit or they did some aspect of their job notably well. Stop them and sincerely compliment them as if you were already friends. It's a small risk, but it puts them in a positive personal light and removes some of the negative aura surrounding them. Immediately some portion of the tension in the office is gone. Everybody benefits. The same thing happens if you smile at people regularly. Eventually they realize it's sincere and they begin to smile back.
    I like to write comments on online news articles. We all have a tendency to pass judgement on people in the news with only the information in one article. We read a story, it offends our sensibilities and we lash out, mostly to prove to ourselves we couldn't be the person that makes a bad decision and ruins lives. 
   Strangely, even though we have the potential to be unreasonable, most of us are reasonable 95% of the time. It's the other 5% by which we will be judged.

Faces of Love

   I'm spending the day with my youngest granddaughter today and I'm very excited. Grandchildren fill your heart like no one else can. I know they love me because they are very demonstrative. When I arrive at their house, they run into my arms for a hug. They get sad when I leave and excited if I take them with me. All I have to do is hold my arms out and they snuggle in for a good cuddle. All of these actions warm me just in the thought of them.
   What fills my heart even more is knowing that with all of that, they love their parents more. Even though they reach for me and cry as I prepare to leave their house as if I must take them with me, given the choice of participating in the same field trip type activity with their parents or their grandparents, they will choose their parents.
   Occasionally, I envy the closeness some of my friends share with their other friends. I don't feel that way with my grandchildren. It's likely I will leave this world before their parents. My grandchildren need to feel secure in the face of uncertainty and their parents provide that for them. In the meantime, I honor their parents by making sure my grandchildren understand that I know mom and dad are the ultimate bosses where my grandchildren are concerned. It really puts me at ease to just enjoy my time with them and shower them with all the love I feel. It's a win-win for all of us.

You'll never know whose life you'll touch.

   I was reading the Omaha World Herald this morning and ran across an Obituary for William A. "Big Daddy" Sailes and started to cry a little. I'd never actually met "Big Daddy" Sailes but he was a very big part of my early years. I didn't remember that he had worked with my dad, but I knew he was a band leader.
   My parents were big into ballroom dancing when I was little. They used to spend many nights practicing in the livingroom of our home.  My father spoke very highly of Mr. Sailes and both my parents talked about how much they loved to go where his band was playing so they could dance to his music.
     For years after my parents' deaths, I wondered about him. I tried unsuccessfully to do some online searches to see if there was anything in print about him, but I didn't have the spelling of his name and it certainly didn't match the several variations I guessed from the pronunciation.
     Mr. Sailes was 94 years old. He lived a long life and I'm sure he touched a great many others. Even though I didn't know him personally, his life was personal to me and I will miss him. God willing, my parents will be enjoying an eternity of great music and great dancing. Rest in Peace "Big Daddy" and God bless you -Life well lived and Job well done!

About Faith

     I went to the funeral service for a dear friend's father yesterday. I was moved by the special touches in the service; the handpicked music and the personal references to his love for the outdoors, among others.
     But what stuck with me most was something the minister said. Faith is not something that removes all doubt, we have Faith BECAUSE of the doubts we face. For me it translates into 'Faith is Hope'. 

Shall we stay or shall we go?

     It would be nice if every relationship were clear and tidy. If all the lines were sharp and there were no grey areas. The biggest difficulties lie in the overlaps. 
    Can you be excited and happy for someone you love, when someone else you love, feels offended by the one for whom you want to be excited and happy? If everyone involved is emotionally mature, it's possible. Emotional maturity seldom happens at the same rate for different people, ..... if it happens at all.
     It's a struggle for me to stay out of other people's relationships, especially if it appears their "bump" is clearly a misunderstanding and it feels like both parties want the friendship back. I am a "fixer".  I find solutions for problems. That's what I'm driven to do, but for the most part I manage to avoid offering to mediate.
     If a hiccup in the relationship of two people I love bleeds over into my life, I have less restraint.  I want the freedom to maintain/nurture my relationships separate from third party influences.  So if my friend expects me to prove my friendship by taking sides or ignoring mean-spirited behavior, I will speak up.  I believe that if you search your heart before you speak, say what you need to with all the love you feel, whatever the outcome may be, is what must be.
      I've learned to accept that not all relationships are meant to be true and strong, and it's okay to let some go.

Will this make me stronger?

     I've made a number of changes over the last year in my quest to be healthier. I gave up soda a little over a year ago. I limited fried foods and breads. I walk. I recently bought a new bicycle and had begun to ride. So, the decision to remove my gallbladder came out of left field and the urgency of it didn't give me time to plan or even do a little research about what I would be facing without it. Today marks one week post surgery and I'm not getting stronger as fast as I have after previous surgeries. While I'm older and I work a desk job, I'm not completely inactive.
     I haven't been having the kind of pain I expected and the discharge instructions stated "activity as tolerated".  I decided I was well enough to ease back into my life so I went back to work for half of a day on Tuesday, five days after surgery. By the end of my four hours I was exhausted.  I came home to take a nap and couldn't rest. I didn't sleep well Tuesday night so I took Wednesday off.  In between naps Wednesday, I did a little research about the effects of this surgery and was stunned by what I found.
     My life will never be the same. The good news is I have lost, and will certainly lose more weight. The not so good news is, I will have to be diligent about maintaining my strength and staying healthy.  The things I saw as special treats, the ice cream cone dates with my husband at Zestos, and my morning cup of coffee, while only occasional rewards, will now wreak havoc on my digestive system and interrupt any normal routine I try to keep. Food will have to be carefully planned but not necessarily for calorie count.
     Some articles offer assurances that these changes may only be temporary, perhaps a few weeks to a couple months. But the overwhelming response from patients who were asked to write about their experience is that they are dealing with the same issues years later and their lives have changed drastically.
     I've never shied away from a challenge I thought worth my energy, but my energy may have more to do with making the choice to face the challenge (if that makes sense to anyone other than me). So the looming question to be answered in the coming weeks is, "Will this [latest trial] make me stronger?" My mind says yes, but my body hasn't decided yet.