Treasure

The real value of a gift is determined by the "true cost" of the giver, which cannot be measured in currency.

Do you enthusiastically accept all gifts offered..................... or only those which fit your standard?

When you are on the receiving end of even the smallest kindness, the message you send back, by word, look or action, can build the giver up or break the giver down.

When someone gives you a gift they are taking a risk, opening themselves up and making themselves vulnerable to you. Your reaction at that moment may be the only thing feeding their soul that day. Make sure you receive your gifts tenderly and thoughtfully!

What someone gives you .................. might be the ONLY thing they have to give the world at that moment and they chose you. Make sure you deserve their everything.

Stress is ageless

   Is there someone creating extra stress for you? Are they impatient or at least not very understanding? Does it seem they expect more from you than you have to give?  Perhaps you wish you could press a 'pause' button and deal with them when you're ready. It's not that you want them to disappear, but if they could just back off for a few minutes/days/weeks until you can catch your breath you would be so grateful!
   Each of us have people in our lives that demand a lot of time and attention. It's understandable when they're really little. We can even reasonably expect to give our teenagers some leeway to be selfish and demanding. They are on the cusp of becoming an adult, which can admittedly be one of the most exciting and yet scariest times of their life.
    Before you make a hasty judgement, ask yourself what you expect from THEM. Do they serve a need in your life? Are you allowing them in your life when you need them and then wanting them to stand by until you're ready for them again? What purpose are you serving in their life?  How are you serving them? 
   Once you reach the age of reason; once you can tell the difference between right and wrong, it's time to step up and pitch in, to give back. It's time to become a 'contributing member of society'. That doesn't just mean you get a job and pay taxes, etc. You may not even be old enough to get a job, but you are probably old enough to contribute to the efforts made on behalf of your family, your school, your church, your community, etc. in whatever way you are capable. There is no excuse to continue receiving benefit in any area of your life without also adding to the well being of those around you.
   So I would ask you again to consider what benefit YOU are adding to the person that is expecting too much from you? Even if the only contribution you have for them is simple communication, you owe them that much at least. You may find that is really all they need from you. A little respect and consideration goes so very far.
   If you are of the age of reason, step up and do your part to balance your existence. To the people that feed our life in any way, I firmly believe we owe effort.

Our Journey Continues

   A year and a half ago, when I started this blog, I could have predicted this entry would be written, at least at some point. It seems it was inevitable.
   This morning shortly before breakfast time, my little brother took his last breath. We, his daughter, my brothers and sisters and I, were all caught off-guard.  The subtle signs were there. He had been getting progressively weaker, more tired and certainly less stable on his feet. But........., there were appointments on his calendar that needed to be kept. There were events he(we) still had planned to attend.
   Of course, none of those things matter now. Really the only thing that matters is that his struggle and pain are over. I wish I could say that makes this easier, but it doesn't.  I wish I could say the length of this journey has given us time to reconcile with his death, but it hasn't. As much time as we've had to talk about it, to rationalize, to plan, to offer each other our support, it's still never enough time to prevent the wound to our hearts. I can't predict how long it will take..... a lifetime I imagine. 
   And this part of the journey goes on for those of us left.  My brothers and sisters and I, along with our extended family, our children and their children will continue to hold each other up and urge each other forward until the next journey begins.
  

Faces of Love

   I'm spending the day with my youngest granddaughter today and I'm very excited. Grandchildren fill your heart like no one else can. I know they love me because they are very demonstrative. When I arrive at their house, they run into my arms for a hug. They get sad when I leave and excited if I take them with me. All I have to do is hold my arms out and they snuggle in for a good cuddle. All of these actions warm me just in the thought of them.
   What fills my heart even more is knowing that with all of that, they love their parents more. Even though they reach for me and cry as I prepare to leave their house as if I must take them with me, given the choice of participating in the same field trip type activity with their parents or their grandparents, they will choose their parents.
   Occasionally, I envy the closeness some of my friends share with their other friends. I don't feel that way with my grandchildren. It's likely I will leave this world before their parents. My grandchildren need to feel secure in the face of uncertainty and their parents provide that for them. In the meantime, I honor their parents by making sure my grandchildren understand that I know mom and dad are the ultimate bosses where my grandchildren are concerned. It really puts me at ease to just enjoy my time with them and shower them with all the love I feel. It's a win-win for all of us.

.......... and it comes back to Simplicity

"If you do something and it turns out pretty good, you should go ahead and do something else wonderful..."
  
   Those were the words of Steve Jobs, a simple man with a complex mind. In all the news stories about his death recently, I am struck by the joy he expressed in every interview and press release about all the new gadgets on which he and his company worked. His philosophy was basically, do something about which you are passionate. His inventions were created not to please anybody else or fill anyone else's needs. He and his coworkers created tools with features they wanted, that excited them and it was infectious. We got excited with them.
    I've noticed that when I get excited to spend time with my granddaughters, they get excited to spend time with me.  We don't plan a lot of action packed activities, but we seem to have the best time playing,...... everyday games, reading books, going for walks, even watching the video of my 4 year old granddaughter's dance recital (we each choose to dance along with certain parts of our favorite groups).
    The point is, it's when we are fully engaged in an activity by choice, we get the most reward. I have always enjoyed the simple activities and even more so now that the rest of life has become so complex. I don't want more in my life, I want to enjoy more of what's already there. You have to decide if you want more or do you already have it all!

Vulnerable but not conquered.

     Two-thirds of this year has passed and it still is not shaping up to be a better year than last. I really believed the turmoil and tragedies of 2010 would serve as a phase of emotional and psychological growth. I was sure I would find wisdom that I could draw from for future "phases" in years to come. I was really hoping it would just not be this year.
     In March I told you about the diagnosis of, and surgery for pancreatic cancer that my younger brother received. We, my family and I, rallied together to stand by my brother as he faced his surgery and recovery. With our older brother Steve at his side, he quietly went to his weekly chemo treatments until all appointments were complete.
     In early August he had a scan to check his progress (and I assumed to serve as his 'baseline' scan for future check-ups), and the news was not good. The cancer had spread to his liver and the only treatment is not curative.
     So we begin a new journey. The doctors want us to be prepared and I believe we agree, though we still hope for even small miracles. The next 'six months to a year' will again be a phase of growth emotionally. My brother is facing his own journey in as brave a manner as I have ever seen. His own concern is not for himself but for his daughter, my niece, that she continue on this amazing path she's begun toward becoming a youth minister. His biggest hope is for her dreams to come true.
     I couldn't, nor would I want to, imagine how this journey would look if I had to travel it alone with him. I don't think I am enough support. Coming from a large family (not "19 Kids and counting" large) I used to listen to people question having a large family in 'today's world'. Having also married into a large family, there were times I felt overwhelmed by the number of occasions on the calendar that deserved recognition. Finding a balance in our lives among the numbers has always been a challenge and I haven't been really good at making people feel as special as they are to me, but God knew we would need every single person in our lives. If you pray, please keep us all in your prayers, but especially my brother. His will be the journey of his life.
    

Friends

     When I send a 'friend request' on facebook, I don't expect that everyone will accept.  Many of the women I know that are around my age, don't intend to use facebook as a true social network with everyone they know on their friends list like many young adults.  They prefer to keep their contacts limited to their family for sharing updates and pictures. That was certainly my intention.  I will admit, I have a few more 'friends' than I originally intended and now there is more pressure to keep my page updated.
      In this blog and notes on facebook, I've talked about friends and acquaintances and how it's normal for lives to go in separate directions.  That we each take different things from the relationships in our lives.  How some relationships leave a deeper mark on one life than they do another. It's the friendships in our early lives that likely leave the biggest impression as we were able to spend more time each day discovering who our friends were and who we were with them. 
    Today I found my very first childhood friend on facebook, and it drew me back to the very core of my being.  We haven't talked in a long time, but she is one of a very few people that have been 'present' my entire life. We knew each other before we were old enough to go to school, we went all through school together, and reconnect every now and again.  When there is a major event in either of our families of origin, the need to touch base emerges for me. I don't know if she feels the same, but when she touches base, the same genuine friend is there. This is one friend request I REALLY want to have accepted.

On being a parent

     It's been a tough week. I'm waiting for some piece of information that tells us our son and his family are getting back in a manageable routine after last week's activities. I've drawn a line, that should limit the potential of his chaos to take over our lives again, but it's still difficult to switch our focus back to the requirements of our own life when we know they're struggling and don't know if they're making headway. I keep telling myself we've done all we can at this point and we just have to wait for the next opportunity, but in steps that darn irreversible knowledge to make it near impossible to 'do normal'.
      I shouldn't be surprised. I don't know anyone that can prepare themselves physically and emotionally to make that much of a commitment and then immediately return to the normalcy of the 'old life' without a period of readjustment.
    Being a parent is the most rewarding and important job we have ever undertaken, but there are moments when I wonder what it would be like to think of no one other than us, my husband and me as a couple, for a while. It doesn't happen often and it's only after unusually high-stress situations.  The types of situations that have the potential to alter the course of our lives. I'm sure it's common, though I feel tired and I worry that when it's really needed I might not be willing (or able) to make the commitment. Now I'm praying for strength and an attitude adjustment.

Blue and Green go well together

    I painted the bathroom today!!  Hardly seems like a comment worthy of two exclamation points when you see it in typeface, though it is for only one reason. We've lived in our house for a year and a half and every wall and ceiling is white, except now for the smallest room in the house.  Before we moved into our house it was the only room for which I had picked a color. It was to be a soft sage green. I was as certain of the color as I was of my own name. Green is my favorite color.
    When I went to buy the paint this morning, I took some items from the room to coordinate the shade. The irony is, I didn't buy the green I had set in my mind for so long.  I bought "Cool Sky" blue.  Blue is my husband's favorite color.
    As I was painting, I grinned to myself at how quickly I'd changed my mind compared to how long I planned on green.  I reasoned that blue and green go well together in the right shades. I started to think about how my husband Jim would not be as surprised as I was by my switch. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. If he were here right now though, he would have taken the opportunity to tease me unmercifully. I'm certain that will come later. It also occurred to me that the situation so aptly fits us.....well, our relationship anyway.  He is my green and I am his blue. We've adjusted our shades over the years, but we go together pretty well now.