Life's hidden surprises.

     An amazing and overwhelming thing happened. Some friends and I were posting and commenting on pictures on Facebook from our years in high school. We laughed and talked lightheartedly about the years that passed and reminisced about 'back when'. It was fun and heart warming, and left me wishing to go back for a moment and enjoy some of those events with my current wisdom. More pictures were posted and there it was, .............................. THE PICTURE. My husband as I first knew him. It was taken 36 years ago on the same day my husband asked me out for the first time.
     We met in high school, technically during our freshman year, but we didn't really speak to each other until our senior year. He was the class 'jock' and I was the class 'nerd'. He participated in every sport that he could feasibly, while I was extremely serious about my responsibilities in life. We were an unlikely pair.
     As I looked at that picture, I remembered how strong my feelings were as a young girl. Sitting next to him as we looked at that photo, I told my husband he was so handsome in those days (not my most thoughtful moment). He feigned wounded feelings and wondered aloud why I used the word "was".
     What I couldn't articulate to him was the disconnection I felt from my feelings during that phase in our lives. Admittedly, we have aged. Nature has taken it's course and we did not escape her path.  The young man in that picture is definitely not the same man that sat on the couch next to me. He's lost much of his hair and his chiseled jaw has rounded a bit. Perhaps that sounds like a bad thing, but I don't feel that way.
     I look at my husband now and I see the hills and valleys of our life etched across his face. The laugh lines next to his eyes are amazing. When he's happy, his whole face smiles. The steel blue of his eyes have softened all the pain I ever experienced. The strength in his hands remind me of the many times he held me up when I didn't think I could face another tough loss/change/day. The sparkle in his eye when he does something childlike and mischievous makes me laugh even when I want to be mad at him.
     There is so much more depth to the man I see when I look at him now. That makes him so much more handsome and desirable than that young man from our high school days.  While I sometimes wish we had the strength and stamina from those days, I wouldn't go back now to the people we were then. I look at my husband and I still see the young man in that picture, but when I look at that picture, I see only a hint of the man I love right now.

 

Blue and Green go well together

    I painted the bathroom today!!  Hardly seems like a comment worthy of two exclamation points when you see it in typeface, though it is for only one reason. We've lived in our house for a year and a half and every wall and ceiling is white, except now for the smallest room in the house.  Before we moved into our house it was the only room for which I had picked a color. It was to be a soft sage green. I was as certain of the color as I was of my own name. Green is my favorite color.
    When I went to buy the paint this morning, I took some items from the room to coordinate the shade. The irony is, I didn't buy the green I had set in my mind for so long.  I bought "Cool Sky" blue.  Blue is my husband's favorite color.
    As I was painting, I grinned to myself at how quickly I'd changed my mind compared to how long I planned on green.  I reasoned that blue and green go well together in the right shades. I started to think about how my husband Jim would not be as surprised as I was by my switch. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. If he were here right now though, he would have taken the opportunity to tease me unmercifully. I'm certain that will come later. It also occurred to me that the situation so aptly fits us.....well, our relationship anyway.  He is my green and I am his blue. We've adjusted our shades over the years, but we go together pretty well now.

If you live together long enough.....

     Okay, I'm a wuss........perhaps. People that spend any time around me know I cry.  I don't cry when I'm sad........ or more accurately, it's not the only time I cry.  I cry when I'm happy.  I cry when I'm really angry.  Heck, I cry if I think someone else is going to cry.  I can be inspired to cry.
    I used to be embarrased by it, but the older I get the more I embrace it.  When I discovered the people around me weren't shunning me or shying away from me because of it, I relaxed.  I get teased occasionally, but it has never been mean or hurtful.  One of my coworkers will signal for me to start fanning my eyes if she's going to tell a story she thinks will touch my heart because she knows I'll cry.
     I think I realized it would be one of my defining characteristics the day my son and daughter-in-law told us they were expecting our first grandchild.  I had planned for the moment for years (I had her baby blanket made more than a year and a half before they were engaged).  I pictured myself jumping up and down and screaming hysterically, much like those scenes on America's Funniest Home Videos.  I couldn't wait to shout it to the mountain tops.  And yet when the moment actually arrived, I melted into a quiet puddle with my head on the table top at Applebee's restaurant, so overcome with joy and the miracle of it all.
     For some years, my husband didn't know what to do when the tears started to roll. He wanted to make it better. As time has gone on, I've worn off on him. Now at any unsuspected moment, he too can be overcome with joy or sadness, or even awe.
    One evening not so long ago, I arranged for our granddaughter to stay at our house for dinner and to take her home later. She had been sharing her once private 'grandma time' with her new baby sister for several months and never complained. I thought it would be nice to focus on her for an evening. It was spur of the moment and my husband had no idea.  When he walked in the door from work a little later, he was surprised to see her sitting there looking up at him. His eyes filled up with tears. He mentioned how much it meant to him for her to just be there when he came home. You would have thought I set it up just for him. 
     A couple months ago, when we learned our nephew and niece-in-law lost the baby they were carrying, we cried together. There have been studies that suggest when two people live together long enough and share life's experiences, they start to look alike.  I don't see it with us.  I do think if you live together long enough and share enough experiences, your hearts begin to look alike.