Stress is ageless

   Is there someone creating extra stress for you? Are they impatient or at least not very understanding? Does it seem they expect more from you than you have to give?  Perhaps you wish you could press a 'pause' button and deal with them when you're ready. It's not that you want them to disappear, but if they could just back off for a few minutes/days/weeks until you can catch your breath you would be so grateful!
   Each of us have people in our lives that demand a lot of time and attention. It's understandable when they're really little. We can even reasonably expect to give our teenagers some leeway to be selfish and demanding. They are on the cusp of becoming an adult, which can admittedly be one of the most exciting and yet scariest times of their life.
    Before you make a hasty judgement, ask yourself what you expect from THEM. Do they serve a need in your life? Are you allowing them in your life when you need them and then wanting them to stand by until you're ready for them again? What purpose are you serving in their life?  How are you serving them? 
   Once you reach the age of reason; once you can tell the difference between right and wrong, it's time to step up and pitch in, to give back. It's time to become a 'contributing member of society'. That doesn't just mean you get a job and pay taxes, etc. You may not even be old enough to get a job, but you are probably old enough to contribute to the efforts made on behalf of your family, your school, your church, your community, etc. in whatever way you are capable. There is no excuse to continue receiving benefit in any area of your life without also adding to the well being of those around you.
   So I would ask you again to consider what benefit YOU are adding to the person that is expecting too much from you? Even if the only contribution you have for them is simple communication, you owe them that much at least. You may find that is really all they need from you. A little respect and consideration goes so very far.
   If you are of the age of reason, step up and do your part to balance your existence. To the people that feed our life in any way, I firmly believe we owe effort.

Go Big Red!!

     Today is the last home football game of the regular 2012 season for the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Some of you reading this are groaning right now because you hate the Cornhuskers, a feeling I sincerely do NOT understand. How can one hate a team composed of college students? College teams are so completely different every five years. They aren't paid ridiculously senseless amounts of money, they aren't paid at all. Just a group of kids trying to make their way in the world, some hoping to become professional players, some just wanting to compete while they get their degree. Oh well, that's topic for another post.
     Nebraskans across the world have not been looking forward to today's game. Not because it's the end of the season but because it's the end of an era. Dr. Tom Osborne is stepping down effective January 1st. For those of you not connected to or passionate about Nebraska football, it's hard to explain this sentiment, but my nephew and his friend came pretty darn close to nailing it for me this morning. I'd like to share their words with you.

My nephew wrote:

    "This weekend will be Tom Osborne's 500th game in an official capacity for the Huskers. I was born in 1981, several years after he had taken over as head coach. By the time I was of age to understand football, I already knew what Nebraska football meant to so many. Husker football Saturdays meant there was excitement in the air. It meant that I had to tune my Walkman into KFAB, it meant my dad and I had something to cheer for together....it meant our little state in the middle of the country had something to be proud of and brag about. This was largely due to the genius we commonly know as Dr. Tom, so this weekend Husker Nation says thank you...you did far more than simply win football games. To my friends not from Nebraska, I apologize for the rant.....most of you won't understand. But for those that do...I know you feel the same.
Sincerely,
a guy that will always be thankful to be from Nebraska...GBR!"


His friend also posted:


   "Husker football meant playing clean, winning with honor and losing with dignity. Playing as a team, even though some were stars, it was about involvement with something bigger than yourself.
Pride, sportsmanship, integrity, these were common threads through DECADES if winning seasons and stadium sellouts.
No matter what part of the state you came from : Omaha /Lincoln, suburbs, rural areas it small towns, our passion for Nebraska football bonded us together as a state over 77,000 square miles, so time zones, and disparate terrain. We are ALL Huskers."

   For the die-hard competitors, it's hard to understand that while the impressive win record is something we Nebraskans like to boast about, it's the overall commitment to integrity and strength of character that makes us loud and proud as we stand behind our boys. Those qualities are embodied in our very own Dr. Tom Osborne. He is genuinely loved and will be deeply missed by this institution as well as our entire state. I think it's safe to say, Nebraska football and the University of Nebraska at Lincoln will never be the same. Our prayer is that the new leadership understands these standards and respects them above all else.

  So to you Dr. Tom,
Thank you for being a true leader and selflessly devoting so many decades to our young men and women. You have touched millions of lives and directly impacted thousands through your example. "Job well done, good and faithful servant!"

Trust yourself

   I love to read. I read something every day. Sometimes I read books, sometimes I read articles. I have certain authors and certain genres that I enjoy more than others but there is a variety of topics that interest me. I think it's important to 'broaden my horizons' about subjects of which I'm not terribly knowledgeable. Considering many perspectives helps me form opinions. However when it comes to opinions, I don't consider anyone else's opinion to be more relevant than my own or my opinion more relevant than another person's.
   My point to this cyclical logic is that if you only use another person's insight as the basis for your opinion, then perhaps you should put down your book or newspaper, or step away from your computer, get out in the world and experience more of life for awhile. It isn't until you see, hear, smell and feel for yourself that you get the truths life has to offer. Once you do that in a way that opens your eyes and your heart to the idea of endless possibility, you will trust yourself. If you trust yourself it becomes unnecessary to be right or to have the last word.

My challenge for you today!

     Okay friends, I have a challenge for you, ........ a "dare". I dare you to do one thing each day for the next week that takes you out of your comfort zone and reconnects you with the person you want to be. I dare you to 'put yourself out there'. Say something or do something that positively affects another person, in spite of the weird looks and snide remarks you might receive.
     I'm not asking you to change the world, but if you do even one thing designed to make another person feel/be better and it takes a little courage on your part, it will have an impact on others, whether you see that impact or not.
     Here's an example of the type of thing I'm thinking about. Imagine you have a 'snob' in your office that clouds the office and makes everyone's job harder. Your coworkers avoid him/her because they don't want to be accused of being like them. You notice he/she has on a stunning new suit or they did some aspect of their job notably well. Stop them and sincerely compliment them as if you were already friends. It's a small risk, but it puts them in a positive personal light and removes some of the negative aura surrounding them. Immediately some portion of the tension in the office is gone. Everybody benefits. The same thing happens if you smile at people regularly. Eventually they realize it's sincere and they begin to smile back.
    I like to write comments on online news articles. We all have a tendency to pass judgement on people in the news with only the information in one article. We read a story, it offends our sensibilities and we lash out, mostly to prove to ourselves we couldn't be the person that makes a bad decision and ruins lives. 
   Strangely, even though we have the potential to be unreasonable, most of us are reasonable 95% of the time. It's the other 5% by which we will be judged.

Will this make me stronger?

     I've made a number of changes over the last year in my quest to be healthier. I gave up soda a little over a year ago. I limited fried foods and breads. I walk. I recently bought a new bicycle and had begun to ride. So, the decision to remove my gallbladder came out of left field and the urgency of it didn't give me time to plan or even do a little research about what I would be facing without it. Today marks one week post surgery and I'm not getting stronger as fast as I have after previous surgeries. While I'm older and I work a desk job, I'm not completely inactive.
     I haven't been having the kind of pain I expected and the discharge instructions stated "activity as tolerated".  I decided I was well enough to ease back into my life so I went back to work for half of a day on Tuesday, five days after surgery. By the end of my four hours I was exhausted.  I came home to take a nap and couldn't rest. I didn't sleep well Tuesday night so I took Wednesday off.  In between naps Wednesday, I did a little research about the effects of this surgery and was stunned by what I found.
     My life will never be the same. The good news is I have lost, and will certainly lose more weight. The not so good news is, I will have to be diligent about maintaining my strength and staying healthy.  The things I saw as special treats, the ice cream cone dates with my husband at Zestos, and my morning cup of coffee, while only occasional rewards, will now wreak havoc on my digestive system and interrupt any normal routine I try to keep. Food will have to be carefully planned but not necessarily for calorie count.
     Some articles offer assurances that these changes may only be temporary, perhaps a few weeks to a couple months. But the overwhelming response from patients who were asked to write about their experience is that they are dealing with the same issues years later and their lives have changed drastically.
     I've never shied away from a challenge I thought worth my energy, but my energy may have more to do with making the choice to face the challenge (if that makes sense to anyone other than me). So the looming question to be answered in the coming weeks is, "Will this [latest trial] make me stronger?" My mind says yes, but my body hasn't decided yet.

An Angry Era

     The news is full of stories about young people railing against something; society, law enforcement, an education system, another group of young people, etc. I understand the need for people to push for change. When I was younger, I thought I should have a cause, some corner of my world that I could improve.
     I don't know if I did anything during my life that will leave a lasting impression with anyone. If I did, I'm certain it won't last longer than the lifetime of my grandchildren. One thing I do know is that I have never been that angry about anything. I've been dissatisfied and discontented and I've worked to make bad situations better.
     For a very long time I worried the world was getting darker. Then it occurred to me that perhaps the world isn't that much different than when I was younger. Technology has erupted into a multi-headed monster. Machines are electronic and far more complex, but opportunities and possibilities are still unlimited if you dare to dream and be creative.
      So, what makes those young people so angry? It seems to me, the biggest obstacle to someone's happiness is their inability to accept disappointment. When things don't go as planned, they don't know how to regroup and come up with a new plan because we as a society spent years telling them they controlled the world. We encouraged them to be the best and to have the best. We're forgetting to teach them true happiness will come from the connections you build with other people. The more of yourself that you give to others, the stronger and happier you will become.

Get it before it's gone

     It seems to me the ability to respectfully disagree with another's viewpoint is a lost art. It's easier to convince ourselves that we are better (and better off) than our peers or even our parents and their peers. Young people today are so technologically connected that they aren't put in personal situations where they must learn how to live with multiple viewpoints. Lessons on manners and etiquette are no longer passed from the older generations to the younger generations.
     While young adults are versed on 'freedom of speech', it's only their speech that is free. The moment they are faced with someone who questions the validity of their information or offers an opposite viewpoint, they hit the 'delete' button. There's no one to hold them accountable and remind them they can't possibly 'know it all' because they aren't 'fully cooked' yet. They can 'unfriend' and 'block' anyone that disagrees with them. In this digital age, it's much easier to build a world around themselves filled with people that pat them on the back and tell them how wonderful they are, even if it's only to avoid becoming their next chastising victim.
     Families don't get together in large groups of multiple generations nearly as often as previous generations. I worry that our lives have become more superficial. So much history is lost because we aren't aware of the importance of the experience and wisdom of our senior citizens gained by years of hard work and lives well lived. It's a much underused and neglected resource. I feel blessed to have a few resources left.