Trust yourself

   I love to read. I read something every day. Sometimes I read books, sometimes I read articles. I have certain authors and certain genres that I enjoy more than others but there is a variety of topics that interest me. I think it's important to 'broaden my horizons' about subjects of which I'm not terribly knowledgeable. Considering many perspectives helps me form opinions. However when it comes to opinions, I don't consider anyone else's opinion to be more relevant than my own or my opinion more relevant than another person's.
   My point to this cyclical logic is that if you only use another person's insight as the basis for your opinion, then perhaps you should put down your book or newspaper, or step away from your computer, get out in the world and experience more of life for awhile. It isn't until you see, hear, smell and feel for yourself that you get the truths life has to offer. Once you do that in a way that opens your eyes and your heart to the idea of endless possibility, you will trust yourself. If you trust yourself it becomes unnecessary to be right or to have the last word.

My challenge for you today!

     Okay friends, I have a challenge for you, ........ a "dare". I dare you to do one thing each day for the next week that takes you out of your comfort zone and reconnects you with the person you want to be. I dare you to 'put yourself out there'. Say something or do something that positively affects another person, in spite of the weird looks and snide remarks you might receive.
     I'm not asking you to change the world, but if you do even one thing designed to make another person feel/be better and it takes a little courage on your part, it will have an impact on others, whether you see that impact or not.
     Here's an example of the type of thing I'm thinking about. Imagine you have a 'snob' in your office that clouds the office and makes everyone's job harder. Your coworkers avoid him/her because they don't want to be accused of being like them. You notice he/she has on a stunning new suit or they did some aspect of their job notably well. Stop them and sincerely compliment them as if you were already friends. It's a small risk, but it puts them in a positive personal light and removes some of the negative aura surrounding them. Immediately some portion of the tension in the office is gone. Everybody benefits. The same thing happens if you smile at people regularly. Eventually they realize it's sincere and they begin to smile back.
    I like to write comments on online news articles. We all have a tendency to pass judgement on people in the news with only the information in one article. We read a story, it offends our sensibilities and we lash out, mostly to prove to ourselves we couldn't be the person that makes a bad decision and ruins lives. 
   Strangely, even though we have the potential to be unreasonable, most of us are reasonable 95% of the time. It's the other 5% by which we will be judged.

About Faith

     I went to the funeral service for a dear friend's father yesterday. I was moved by the special touches in the service; the handpicked music and the personal references to his love for the outdoors, among others.
     But what stuck with me most was something the minister said. Faith is not something that removes all doubt, we have Faith BECAUSE of the doubts we face. For me it translates into 'Faith is Hope'. 

Will this make me stronger?

     I've made a number of changes over the last year in my quest to be healthier. I gave up soda a little over a year ago. I limited fried foods and breads. I walk. I recently bought a new bicycle and had begun to ride. So, the decision to remove my gallbladder came out of left field and the urgency of it didn't give me time to plan or even do a little research about what I would be facing without it. Today marks one week post surgery and I'm not getting stronger as fast as I have after previous surgeries. While I'm older and I work a desk job, I'm not completely inactive.
     I haven't been having the kind of pain I expected and the discharge instructions stated "activity as tolerated".  I decided I was well enough to ease back into my life so I went back to work for half of a day on Tuesday, five days after surgery. By the end of my four hours I was exhausted.  I came home to take a nap and couldn't rest. I didn't sleep well Tuesday night so I took Wednesday off.  In between naps Wednesday, I did a little research about the effects of this surgery and was stunned by what I found.
     My life will never be the same. The good news is I have lost, and will certainly lose more weight. The not so good news is, I will have to be diligent about maintaining my strength and staying healthy.  The things I saw as special treats, the ice cream cone dates with my husband at Zestos, and my morning cup of coffee, while only occasional rewards, will now wreak havoc on my digestive system and interrupt any normal routine I try to keep. Food will have to be carefully planned but not necessarily for calorie count.
     Some articles offer assurances that these changes may only be temporary, perhaps a few weeks to a couple months. But the overwhelming response from patients who were asked to write about their experience is that they are dealing with the same issues years later and their lives have changed drastically.
     I've never shied away from a challenge I thought worth my energy, but my energy may have more to do with making the choice to face the challenge (if that makes sense to anyone other than me). So the looming question to be answered in the coming weeks is, "Will this [latest trial] make me stronger?" My mind says yes, but my body hasn't decided yet.

Want some cheese with that whine?

     The worst days for me, the ones that I loathe, are the days I feel whiny. On those days everything seems negative and more personal. I imagine vague comments others make to be insults or subtle 'jabs'. Normally, I'd assume they're having 'one of those days', realizing it has nothing to do with me. I notice everything that seems contrary and get irritated by it. I wouldn't go as far as to say I become paranoid, because I am able to bring myself back to a place of logic and remind myself that it's only momentary, tomorrow will be better. I understand that it's my attitude that makes it personal.
     I try not to interact with too many people on those days, because I don't like me as a whiny person and I want to keep that particular side of me to myself.  When I must interact with others, all my energy goes into being positive and caring. By the end of the day, I'm exhausted. Most of us have seen the commercial with the "Easy Button"?  Well, I want an "Off Switch" so, on those days I can turn the rest of the world off for an hour and mope.
   Thankfully they don't happen very often, but yesterday was one. By the end of the day all I wanted to do was go home and hibernate for the night. (This is where I get to say, "I love my house").  Later, Jim came in after a disappointing soccer game (not because they lost, but because of player attitude) and asked me if I wanted to go out and get a bite to eat.  I really didn't, so when I heard "sure" come out of my mouth I was startled.  I knew he wanted to refocus, relax and unwind, so I put on my shoes and we went.  As it happens, it was just what I needed.  We didn't have to say much about our day except it was not a great day. We were able to chit chat about mundane, day-to-day things and relax.
   I worry that my whiny days have become more frequent but since I AM at THAT age, I know it could be my transition into the next phase of my life. (note how pleasantly I described menopause.)  Anyway, if you find some time that I am less than enthusiastic, I apologize in advance. You can bet it's not about you.  It's more likely me doing the best I can not to whine. After all, I have absolutely nothing (worth the energy) about which to whine.