Go Big Red!!

     Today is the last home football game of the regular 2012 season for the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Some of you reading this are groaning right now because you hate the Cornhuskers, a feeling I sincerely do NOT understand. How can one hate a team composed of college students? College teams are so completely different every five years. They aren't paid ridiculously senseless amounts of money, they aren't paid at all. Just a group of kids trying to make their way in the world, some hoping to become professional players, some just wanting to compete while they get their degree. Oh well, that's topic for another post.
     Nebraskans across the world have not been looking forward to today's game. Not because it's the end of the season but because it's the end of an era. Dr. Tom Osborne is stepping down effective January 1st. For those of you not connected to or passionate about Nebraska football, it's hard to explain this sentiment, but my nephew and his friend came pretty darn close to nailing it for me this morning. I'd like to share their words with you.

My nephew wrote:

    "This weekend will be Tom Osborne's 500th game in an official capacity for the Huskers. I was born in 1981, several years after he had taken over as head coach. By the time I was of age to understand football, I already knew what Nebraska football meant to so many. Husker football Saturdays meant there was excitement in the air. It meant that I had to tune my Walkman into KFAB, it meant my dad and I had something to cheer for together....it meant our little state in the middle of the country had something to be proud of and brag about. This was largely due to the genius we commonly know as Dr. Tom, so this weekend Husker Nation says thank you...you did far more than simply win football games. To my friends not from Nebraska, I apologize for the rant.....most of you won't understand. But for those that do...I know you feel the same.
Sincerely,
a guy that will always be thankful to be from Nebraska...GBR!"


His friend also posted:


   "Husker football meant playing clean, winning with honor and losing with dignity. Playing as a team, even though some were stars, it was about involvement with something bigger than yourself.
Pride, sportsmanship, integrity, these were common threads through DECADES if winning seasons and stadium sellouts.
No matter what part of the state you came from : Omaha /Lincoln, suburbs, rural areas it small towns, our passion for Nebraska football bonded us together as a state over 77,000 square miles, so time zones, and disparate terrain. We are ALL Huskers."

   For the die-hard competitors, it's hard to understand that while the impressive win record is something we Nebraskans like to boast about, it's the overall commitment to integrity and strength of character that makes us loud and proud as we stand behind our boys. Those qualities are embodied in our very own Dr. Tom Osborne. He is genuinely loved and will be deeply missed by this institution as well as our entire state. I think it's safe to say, Nebraska football and the University of Nebraska at Lincoln will never be the same. Our prayer is that the new leadership understands these standards and respects them above all else.

  So to you Dr. Tom,
Thank you for being a true leader and selflessly devoting so many decades to our young men and women. You have touched millions of lives and directly impacted thousands through your example. "Job well done, good and faithful servant!"

My challenge for you today!

     Okay friends, I have a challenge for you, ........ a "dare". I dare you to do one thing each day for the next week that takes you out of your comfort zone and reconnects you with the person you want to be. I dare you to 'put yourself out there'. Say something or do something that positively affects another person, in spite of the weird looks and snide remarks you might receive.
     I'm not asking you to change the world, but if you do even one thing designed to make another person feel/be better and it takes a little courage on your part, it will have an impact on others, whether you see that impact or not.
     Here's an example of the type of thing I'm thinking about. Imagine you have a 'snob' in your office that clouds the office and makes everyone's job harder. Your coworkers avoid him/her because they don't want to be accused of being like them. You notice he/she has on a stunning new suit or they did some aspect of their job notably well. Stop them and sincerely compliment them as if you were already friends. It's a small risk, but it puts them in a positive personal light and removes some of the negative aura surrounding them. Immediately some portion of the tension in the office is gone. Everybody benefits. The same thing happens if you smile at people regularly. Eventually they realize it's sincere and they begin to smile back.
    I like to write comments on online news articles. We all have a tendency to pass judgement on people in the news with only the information in one article. We read a story, it offends our sensibilities and we lash out, mostly to prove to ourselves we couldn't be the person that makes a bad decision and ruins lives. 
   Strangely, even though we have the potential to be unreasonable, most of us are reasonable 95% of the time. It's the other 5% by which we will be judged.

An Angry Era

     The news is full of stories about young people railing against something; society, law enforcement, an education system, another group of young people, etc. I understand the need for people to push for change. When I was younger, I thought I should have a cause, some corner of my world that I could improve.
     I don't know if I did anything during my life that will leave a lasting impression with anyone. If I did, I'm certain it won't last longer than the lifetime of my grandchildren. One thing I do know is that I have never been that angry about anything. I've been dissatisfied and discontented and I've worked to make bad situations better.
     For a very long time I worried the world was getting darker. Then it occurred to me that perhaps the world isn't that much different than when I was younger. Technology has erupted into a multi-headed monster. Machines are electronic and far more complex, but opportunities and possibilities are still unlimited if you dare to dream and be creative.
      So, what makes those young people so angry? It seems to me, the biggest obstacle to someone's happiness is their inability to accept disappointment. When things don't go as planned, they don't know how to regroup and come up with a new plan because we as a society spent years telling them they controlled the world. We encouraged them to be the best and to have the best. We're forgetting to teach them true happiness will come from the connections you build with other people. The more of yourself that you give to others, the stronger and happier you will become.

For my kids!

(I want to preface this post by saying these thoughts came to me as a result of someone else's situation and not from anything personally related to my family. I have to put this out there anyway!)
   My husband and I are so very proud of our boys and anyone that spends time around us, knows it full well. Some days we can't stop talking about something one of them (or our granddaughters) has done or said. I'm sure many people, including our sons, have at one time or another thought, "If you only knew....".  So let me set the record straight.
   We do not, nor will we ever, delude ourselves into thinking that we know everything our children have ever done.  Nor do we believe they would want us to know. I'm pretty sure they think there are choices they've made of which we would not approve.  We all get embarrassed by our mistakes and we all make choices that take us on a path different than our parents'.
   Even though I don't know all their choices (or activities), I can say that I wouldn't be paralyzed by anything I learned about decisions they've made. I know my children are human; driven by the same needs and wants the rest of us have. The need to be acknowledged and accepted by our peers is a great equalizer.
     So to our children and children-in-law I say, "Relax. Dad and I love and accept you unconditionally. We are proud of the kindness in your hearts and the generosity in your nature. We think you are perfectly imperfect. Keep doing your best and always give more than you take."  Mom

Integrity is neither private nor public.

     When did we get into the habit of ignoring the blatant indiscretions of our public figures? Many of my peers pass it off as normal, saying we only hear about the ones that get caught, implying or even saying up front that all public leaders behave badly as if that makes it okay. Too often we excuse bad sexual behavior because some believe men can't control their physical urges.
     New York Congressman Anthony Weiner admitted today that he lied to the nation a week ago when he denied sending an explicit photo to a woman who is not his wife. He made up a story saying he was the victim of someone that had 'hacked' his computer and sent it in his name. After he took 'full responsibility' for taking the pictures and sending them, he went on to say that he would not resign because he doesn't think he "did anything that violated any law or rule of the house" or anything to compromise his 'oath of office to uphold the Constitution'.  Excuse me?  How does an outright lie to the public not become glaring evidence that he has compromised his ability to even make/keep an oath ? 
     Why would we accept that one can behave one way in private and another in public?  It is unacceptable to me that we don't set a standard for our 'public servants' private behavior at the same level we expect of their public behavior. I don't believe anyone is perfect nor do I expect it, but the level of a person's deceptive behavior in private should give us a glimpse at the potential of deception in public.
    I have a favorite quote that sums up my feelings about the people that I want to serve my community.
'The true character of a man is determined by what he would do if he knew no one would find out.' -Unknown

Different perspectives

   As a teenager working my first job, I watched my boss become really frustrated because some of the younger workers would walk in the door right at the start of their shift. They would spend the next five or ten minutes signing in, visiting with coworkers, putting on their work smocks, adding their hours on the time sheet, etc. before finally showing up at their assigned duty location. They thought it was okay because they walked in the door on time.
    One evening my boss called a meeting immediately after the store closed.  He explained that he was paying us for the hours we worked at the duties he assigned. He didn't expect to pay us for preparing to work or for the time spent visiting or tending to our own business before we arrived at our duty station. Even though I hadn't been guilty of these offenses, I could have fallen into the same routines because I hadn't thought about these things. He made sense to me and what he said has stuck with me.
   I'm a rule follower. If I don't like a rule, I'll work to change it, but .............. I respect people and their experiences. Most rules come as a result of a struggle or series of struggles. They provide structure and serve to 'level the playing field'. I've had to make a few of my own and I remember the time and thought I put into them. I hope to be given a chance to discuss the reasoning before my personal rules are broken or ignored.   
   At work, my coworkers and I have some pretty serious conversations. They are usually triggered by a phone call or situation we may be addressing. One recurring topic is the 'sense of entitlement' that people feel. Upon hearing that phrase, many people automatically think about 'welfare mothers' or unemployment. Yes, there ARE some obvious abuses to the welfare and unemployment systems in our country but, I wonder how many of us actually stop to consider our own sense of entitlement. 
   We all feel it on occasion and I don't think it's always a negative thing.  In our relationships, we want to need and be needed. We make a commitment to each other and expect to depend on that commitment. That sense of entitlement gives us security, strength, confidence and inspiration to struggle through the difficult situations we encounter, to be better and do better.
   However there are still things we feel we deserve even though it's not truly our decision. A woman I know has been at her job for several decades and has a set schedule. She believes it's acceptable to arrive at work 5, 10, 15 minutes or more after her scheduled start time, and not just occasionally, because she's an 'ish' kind of person. She'll also change her schedule without consulting her supervisor, to keep a coworker company when another coworker takes a day off.  It's a coworker kindness, but even though she works a full day, it doesn't always fall in line with the needs of the company. She feels entitled to make those decisions without discussing it in advance.
   Another woman woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. For two days in a row she arrived at work an hour early. On the second day she told her coworkers that they didn't need to worry because she wasn't going to get more overtime than them, she would just get off two hours early at a later date. A couple of them were noticeably angry.
   Whether taking someone else's reserved parking space because they are on vacation, or taking an extra long lunch because the allotted time isn't sufficient to eat AND run an errand, people feel it's easier to justify these types of decisions because 'it's a big company', or 'I stayed later last week' whether it was requested of them or even necessary.
   If I could have one rule that no one had the power to change, it would be that when you make a decision that falls under the scope of another individual or within their world, you would do it openly. 'Have the conversation' in advance. Even if your decision doesn't involve the people around you, you will lose the trust of all who suspect you are being deceitful or self-serving.