Treasure

The real value of a gift is determined by the "true cost" of the giver, which cannot be measured in currency.

Do you enthusiastically accept all gifts offered..................... or only those which fit your standard?

When you are on the receiving end of even the smallest kindness, the message you send back, by word, look or action, can build the giver up or break the giver down.

When someone gives you a gift they are taking a risk, opening themselves up and making themselves vulnerable to you. Your reaction at that moment may be the only thing feeding their soul that day. Make sure you receive your gifts tenderly and thoughtfully!

What someone gives you .................. might be the ONLY thing they have to give the world at that moment and they chose you. Make sure you deserve their everything.

Shall we stay or shall we go?

     It would be nice if every relationship were clear and tidy. If all the lines were sharp and there were no grey areas. The biggest difficulties lie in the overlaps. 
    Can you be excited and happy for someone you love, when someone else you love, feels offended by the one for whom you want to be excited and happy? If everyone involved is emotionally mature, it's possible. Emotional maturity seldom happens at the same rate for different people, ..... if it happens at all.
     It's a struggle for me to stay out of other people's relationships, especially if it appears their "bump" is clearly a misunderstanding and it feels like both parties want the friendship back. I am a "fixer".  I find solutions for problems. That's what I'm driven to do, but for the most part I manage to avoid offering to mediate.
     If a hiccup in the relationship of two people I love bleeds over into my life, I have less restraint.  I want the freedom to maintain/nurture my relationships separate from third party influences.  So if my friend expects me to prove my friendship by taking sides or ignoring mean-spirited behavior, I will speak up.  I believe that if you search your heart before you speak, say what you need to with all the love you feel, whatever the outcome may be, is what must be.
      I've learned to accept that not all relationships are meant to be true and strong, and it's okay to let some go.

What to believe

     I believe God exists!........................ I don't expect to convert anyone with that statement because I don't believe my life's purpose is to Evangelize.  My purpose is to be the best, most genuine me.  I fail in some way on a daily basis, but I keep trying.

So, you ask, what is the cause/purpose of this post? 
     Menopause likely! I'm finding that I get irritated with extreme mindsets.  I'm referring to those of us that proclaim they believe in God and eagerly engage in bad behavior and vicious gossip. I'm also referring to those that proclaim they don't believe and slam religion at every opportunity.

I've heard viewpoints about the existence of God from:
     -People that go to church regularly, admit they attend only because it's expected and don't think about God for the rest of the week.
     -People that choose not to believe God exists and will tell you that religion is only 'brainwashing'.
     -People that insert the Bible into EVERY conversation about faith and can cite any and every appropriate verse for a given circumstance.
     -People that don't believe and just don't discuss it.
     -People that believe and just don't discuss it.

     While it's not an interest I actively pursue, the path that brings people to their current tenet is to me somewhat intriguing. I only ask that you don't tell me that believing what I've heard or read is less valid than your believing what you've heard or read.  I would rather listen to the reasons you don't believe (so I can get to know you), than listen to why you think I shouldn't believe.
     Please don't misunderstand me, I'm only saying that I think most people are intelligent enough to choose for themselves. The spiel about how the Church brainwashed me into believing in God, is not proof He doesn't exist, it's only proof you question my intelligence.

Friends

     When I send a 'friend request' on facebook, I don't expect that everyone will accept.  Many of the women I know that are around my age, don't intend to use facebook as a true social network with everyone they know on their friends list like many young adults.  They prefer to keep their contacts limited to their family for sharing updates and pictures. That was certainly my intention.  I will admit, I have a few more 'friends' than I originally intended and now there is more pressure to keep my page updated.
      In this blog and notes on facebook, I've talked about friends and acquaintances and how it's normal for lives to go in separate directions.  That we each take different things from the relationships in our lives.  How some relationships leave a deeper mark on one life than they do another. It's the friendships in our early lives that likely leave the biggest impression as we were able to spend more time each day discovering who our friends were and who we were with them. 
    Today I found my very first childhood friend on facebook, and it drew me back to the very core of my being.  We haven't talked in a long time, but she is one of a very few people that have been 'present' my entire life. We knew each other before we were old enough to go to school, we went all through school together, and reconnect every now and again.  When there is a major event in either of our families of origin, the need to touch base emerges for me. I don't know if she feels the same, but when she touches base, the same genuine friend is there. This is one friend request I REALLY want to have accepted.

Pieces of my puzzle

    There are people that just seem to 'fit' in my life. I don't have to work at my relationship with them, it's always there, right where we left off, no matter how much time has passed.  I think about these relationships occasionally and there are a few people that immediately come to mind.  Without even talking to them, they give me courage to face challenges and the strength to keep trying when I want to give up. They are my 'forever friends'.  Today I discovered two more forever friends I hadn't considered, my dentist and his assistant.
     My struggle with dentists over the years resembles that of a person who has poked a bee hive with a stick and is just staying ahead of the swarm in the escape. It's been a nightmare until Dr. Franco became my dentist and Mary Ann, his/my dental assistant.
    For the first time in my half century of life, I feel like a responsible dental patient.  I don't wait until I can't stand the pain any longer before I go in.  I go every six months for my check up and cleaning..........because Dr. Franco gives me courage.  He took the time to listen to my horror stories, to ease my fear, to prevent unnecessary pain and to treat my mouth gently. He gave me back my dental confidence but it's more than just that.
    Several months ago, there was an article in our local paper about how couples met and married. It included the story of how my husband and I met.  Mary Ann and Dr. Franco called that morning to tell me they had just read it and how much they enjoyed it. I could hear their excited smiles through the phone. They said our story was sweet.
     Mary Ann and I persuaded the dental office to join in while we sang happy birthday to Dr. Franco a few weeks back, even the few that Mary Ann swore would never sing.
    This afternoon at the end of my check up, Dr. Franco said he needed to talk to me. There will be a letter coming out soon. His father is very sick, ....cancer, and is retiring from his own practice to focus on his treatment. Dr. Franco will be leaving to take over and preserve his father's practice. He felt bad and wanted me to hear it from him. I didn't realize I was holding my breath.  Then Dr. Franco said the new office was a few miles away and I let my breath out and took in another. I asked if Mary Ann would be going with him. No, there was a staff of assistants in place already.  He warned me that Mary Ann has already been in tears. She came into the room and I told her if she cried I would cry, so she left the room again for a moment.
     It wasn't even a decision for me. I will be praying for Dr. Franco and his family as his dad makes this journey.  I'm going to miss the easy conversations with Dr. Franco and Mary Ann because Mary Ann will be staying at the old office. I made plans to get together with her every once in a while for coffee (or something stronger) and I'm going to see Dr. Franco at his new office because he is my dentist and they both 'fit' my life. They are forever friends.