Round 5

I decided to write again since it's "been a moment", and logged on to my old blog. I found this post from a few months ago and realized I have to share this before my new thinking will make sense, so here it is. This is from May of this year.
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   It's been a long time since I've posted here, but my life took off in crazy directions. It seemed out of control for awhile and it was taking me along. I was afraid I would end up crazy and out of control too, so I made changes. I made some BIG changes.
   There are always details in life that others control but affect us personally. Usually, I "roll with it" and adjust, but in this case, my job had taken so many turns in the last few years with a substantial staff turn-over, even the change was changing. The new leadership was going in a direction that was completely contrary to my philosophy of human interaction. The environment was filled with mistrust, cynicism, and competition and I could no longer function professionally. I decided to remove myself before it completely consumed me. Looking back, I probably tried to "roll with it" longer than I should have. It was unhealthy for me, but it's difficult to see clearly within the throes.
   It's been a journey of self discovery to say the least. I expected to feel peace as soon as I was no longer in the midst of the chaos. It didn't happen. I wondered if I was too hasty, but when I tried to imagine myself working there again, I had an anxiety attack. I had absolutely made the right choice. Perhaps I needed to add something that "fed" me, so I picked up crocheting. I had learned to crochet as a young girl, but hadn't picked up a hook in decades. It was cathartic to say the least. I've seen a shirt recently that says, "I crochet to keep from punching people in the throat".  That message is a bit extreme for me to wear, but I did giggle and I thought, "I really do understand". I have become uber-protective of my health, my time, my energy, and my sanity. I guess you could say I'm reclaiming some space to call mine.
   The crochet project I'm working on just seems to fit because each individual stitch is helping to create something pretty amazing. There are 8 rounds to each smaller part needed to create the whole. Each piece completely changes shape between round 4 and round 5.


ROUND 4

ROUND 5



In round 4 the piece is drawn up and tight, and in round 5 the piece is pulled flat and laid open. Since I like to use analogies to define concepts that are personal, I like to think of my life as being in the middle of "round 5". Looking forward to pieces that await.