You'll never know whose life you'll touch.

   I was reading the Omaha World Herald this morning and ran across an Obituary for William A. "Big Daddy" Sailes and started to cry a little. I'd never actually met "Big Daddy" Sailes but he was a very big part of my early years. I didn't remember that he had worked with my dad, but I knew he was a band leader.
   My parents were big into ballroom dancing when I was little. They used to spend many nights practicing in the livingroom of our home.  My father spoke very highly of Mr. Sailes and both my parents talked about how much they loved to go where his band was playing so they could dance to his music.
     For years after my parents' deaths, I wondered about him. I tried unsuccessfully to do some online searches to see if there was anything in print about him, but I didn't have the spelling of his name and it certainly didn't match the several variations I guessed from the pronunciation.
     Mr. Sailes was 94 years old. He lived a long life and I'm sure he touched a great many others. Even though I didn't know him personally, his life was personal to me and I will miss him. God willing, my parents will be enjoying an eternity of great music and great dancing. Rest in Peace "Big Daddy" and God bless you -Life well lived and Job well done!

About Faith

     I went to the funeral service for a dear friend's father yesterday. I was moved by the special touches in the service; the handpicked music and the personal references to his love for the outdoors, among others.
     But what stuck with me most was something the minister said. Faith is not something that removes all doubt, we have Faith BECAUSE of the doubts we face. For me it translates into 'Faith is Hope'. 

Shall we stay or shall we go?

     It would be nice if every relationship were clear and tidy. If all the lines were sharp and there were no grey areas. The biggest difficulties lie in the overlaps. 
    Can you be excited and happy for someone you love, when someone else you love, feels offended by the one for whom you want to be excited and happy? If everyone involved is emotionally mature, it's possible. Emotional maturity seldom happens at the same rate for different people, ..... if it happens at all.
     It's a struggle for me to stay out of other people's relationships, especially if it appears their "bump" is clearly a misunderstanding and it feels like both parties want the friendship back. I am a "fixer".  I find solutions for problems. That's what I'm driven to do, but for the most part I manage to avoid offering to mediate.
     If a hiccup in the relationship of two people I love bleeds over into my life, I have less restraint.  I want the freedom to maintain/nurture my relationships separate from third party influences.  So if my friend expects me to prove my friendship by taking sides or ignoring mean-spirited behavior, I will speak up.  I believe that if you search your heart before you speak, say what you need to with all the love you feel, whatever the outcome may be, is what must be.
      I've learned to accept that not all relationships are meant to be true and strong, and it's okay to let some go.

Will this make me stronger?

     I've made a number of changes over the last year in my quest to be healthier. I gave up soda a little over a year ago. I limited fried foods and breads. I walk. I recently bought a new bicycle and had begun to ride. So, the decision to remove my gallbladder came out of left field and the urgency of it didn't give me time to plan or even do a little research about what I would be facing without it. Today marks one week post surgery and I'm not getting stronger as fast as I have after previous surgeries. While I'm older and I work a desk job, I'm not completely inactive.
     I haven't been having the kind of pain I expected and the discharge instructions stated "activity as tolerated".  I decided I was well enough to ease back into my life so I went back to work for half of a day on Tuesday, five days after surgery. By the end of my four hours I was exhausted.  I came home to take a nap and couldn't rest. I didn't sleep well Tuesday night so I took Wednesday off.  In between naps Wednesday, I did a little research about the effects of this surgery and was stunned by what I found.
     My life will never be the same. The good news is I have lost, and will certainly lose more weight. The not so good news is, I will have to be diligent about maintaining my strength and staying healthy.  The things I saw as special treats, the ice cream cone dates with my husband at Zestos, and my morning cup of coffee, while only occasional rewards, will now wreak havoc on my digestive system and interrupt any normal routine I try to keep. Food will have to be carefully planned but not necessarily for calorie count.
     Some articles offer assurances that these changes may only be temporary, perhaps a few weeks to a couple months. But the overwhelming response from patients who were asked to write about their experience is that they are dealing with the same issues years later and their lives have changed drastically.
     I've never shied away from a challenge I thought worth my energy, but my energy may have more to do with making the choice to face the challenge (if that makes sense to anyone other than me). So the looming question to be answered in the coming weeks is, "Will this [latest trial] make me stronger?" My mind says yes, but my body hasn't decided yet.