What a whirlwind

     Wow! I'm simply stunned by how quickly one's life can change and so much of it, a direct result of self-talk. In a matter of moments you can be headed in one direction and suddenly end up upside down.
     I've been exhausted for months and chalked it up to the major stresses that seem to come relentlessly; the loss of regular contact with my youngest son and my granddaughter, the death of one of my older brothers, the impending death my younger brother and the general stresses of working for a public entity. For the past few weeks I'd felt constantly queasy. I took the day off of work on Tuesday because I just wasn't feeling 'great'.
     I felt guilty because I questioned whether I was using it as an excuse to be lazy. I couldn't just lay down and rest, because I wasn't running a fever or throwing up or displaying any other obvious signs of illness. So I made myself get up and go to work on Wednesday. I told myself, I couldn't just stop my life and get off for awhile. When I got to work, I decided I was being silly. 'Just go to the doctor and get something to settle my stomach and get on with the business of living'. I got on the phone made an appointment for later that morning and patted myself on the back for being a 'big girl'.
     I discussed my symptoms with my doctor. She would draw some blood and run some test. Perhaps she would also take an x-ray of my abdomen and 'check my bowel, check my gallbladder, my pancreas, etc.' (ding-ding-ding). A little bell went off in my head. I needed to mention that pancreatic cancer is prevalent in my family. My father died of complications from the surgery for it, and my youngest brother is dealing with Pancreatic Cancer that has spread to his liver. That information changed her plans. She would still run the blood tests, but she would send me over to the hospital for a CT scan instead of the x-ray. The hospital would call her while I was still there to discuss the results of the scan. I wasn't overly concerned because she has been as proactive in previous appointments, in fact it was a bit of a relief. I didn't believe I had cancer, but after feeling icky for such a stretch, it would be nice to verify it's absence.
     After the CT Scan, she ordered an ultrasound. The hospital called her to discuss the results and she asked to speak to me. She told me they were admitting me to the hospital. What??!!?? I asked her when. She said as soon as they could clear the bed ......... I had a gallstone .......... the size of a golf ball (ironic since golf is my latest competition for Jim's time).
     The next morning (Thursday) the surgeon removed my gallbladder and later that night they sent me home.
     I'm sitting on my couch after this whirlwind, trying to wrap my thoughts around having surgery as the rest of the world goes on. It's only been two days since I thought I was going to the doctor to get something to settle my upset stomach and it feels like a lifetime ago. Wow!

.......... and it comes back to Simplicity

"If you do something and it turns out pretty good, you should go ahead and do something else wonderful..."
  
   Those were the words of Steve Jobs, a simple man with a complex mind. In all the news stories about his death recently, I am struck by the joy he expressed in every interview and press release about all the new gadgets on which he and his company worked. His philosophy was basically, do something about which you are passionate. His inventions were created not to please anybody else or fill anyone else's needs. He and his coworkers created tools with features they wanted, that excited them and it was infectious. We got excited with them.
    I've noticed that when I get excited to spend time with my granddaughters, they get excited to spend time with me.  We don't plan a lot of action packed activities, but we seem to have the best time playing,...... everyday games, reading books, going for walks, even watching the video of my 4 year old granddaughter's dance recital (we each choose to dance along with certain parts of our favorite groups).
    The point is, it's when we are fully engaged in an activity by choice, we get the most reward. I have always enjoyed the simple activities and even more so now that the rest of life has become so complex. I don't want more in my life, I want to enjoy more of what's already there. You have to decide if you want more or do you already have it all!