As the title of my post suggests, I'm thinking about Mother's day and I have mixed feelings. When I was little, I learned about being a mom from my Mom. My Mom was perfect! That's not to say she didn't make mistakes or that I agreed with everything she said and did. Just the opposite, I do so many things differently than my mom. In spite of that, my mom was my hero.
Growing up, my mom spent some of her formative years in an orphanage looking after three of her younger siblings. She didn't have the benefit of her mother's experience to show her how to be a loving mother, ... she had to BE the loving mom figure for them. She was taught to cook and iron and sew. She could 'keep a house' and bandage a knee, but she had to teach herself how to encourage and guide children through her own emotional exhaustion. I didn't understand it. In my misunderstanding, I decided I could do it better, I would be a different kind of mother.
I am a different kind of mother. What I didn't realize then was, those differences are only possible because of her strength, wisdom and courage. She taught me everything she knew. As I matured, I was able to see what she couldn't teach me. The ability to look beyond what is right in front of me, is a gift she gave me.
My mom is smiling with the angels now, but if I could look into her eyes I would say, 'We didn't always know the words we needed to express what we wanted to say to each other, but I appreciate that we kept talking. We didn't always choose the right time to hug each other, but I'm glad we kept awkwardly putting our arms around each other. We may not have been on the same 'wave length' through the early years, but we did get there because we kept trying. I admire you and I love you so much! I miss you more than I ever thought possible. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!
No comments:
Post a Comment